I think we can all agree that we want to be successful. I’m not going to bother trying to define “successful” because it’s different for everybody, but it’s still pretty much universally desirable.
I walked into a meeting a few nights ago and was greeted with the sounds of one of the most irrational competitions regarding success I’ve ever heard: A group of perfectly intelligent, talented students was boasting about sleeping as little as possible, ordering a ton of takeout just to stay awake during marathon middle-of-the-night study sessions, and not having time to eat real meals because they’re just so busy. They just want to be successful.
These were all points of pride.
To be honest, for about five seconds, I felt absolutely awful about myself. I mean, I’m not a champion sleeper, but I do manage about 6 to 8 hours most nights. And yeah, I eat my fair share of cookies and Chipotle, but that’s usually in the daylight and it’s just because they taste good. Sometimes my meals are a little snack-y, but mostly, I sit down with nice, balanced meals.
Maybe I’m not working hard enough, I thought. Maybe I’m not doing enough. Maybe I’m not smart enough. Maybe I’m not enough.
Then, I got my act together and called bullsh*t on myself.
I study quite a bit, and I do just fine in school. I have excellent friends and an incredible family. I have this blog. I learn new things every freaking day. I’m growing. Life is hard sometimes, but it’s good. I would call myself pretty successful.
Could I “do more”? You know, maybe I could. But could I do more without doing harm to my mental and physical health? Not much. I’ve been there, sort of. For a lot of last year, I didn’t give myself much time to not study. Sometimes, I still fall into that trap. But I’m so much happier when I remember that there’s a person behind all that work – and that person needs sleep and good food and breaks. That makes me human, not a failure.
You don't have to stretch yourself to breaking point to be successful. Share on XI am all for being ambitious and ultra-productive. In fact, I like to believe I am those things. However, I also believe that you can take care of business and take care of yourself.
How to Be Successful: An Action Plan
- Define success: Sound simple? It is. Make a list of the things you need in your life to consider it a “success”. I know I need to put a significant amount of effort into schoolwork, but I also want to make time to spend blogging, maintaining relationships, creating in the kitchen, learning photography skills, and taking care of my health.
- Make a plan. How much time can you spend doing all those things you just listed? If you take into account sleep and work, what’s left? Prioritize that list from step 1 and figure out where all those can realistically fit into your life.
- Do you. Your “successful” isn’t anyone else’s “successful”. If you’re feeling good about life, there’s no need to worry about your peers’ version of success. A teacher’s life looks pretty different from a doctor’s, but both can be successful.
Just because your success looks different from someone else’s doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s right for you – and that’s what matters.
What does success look like for you?
Success for me is enough $ to live comfortably, enjoy myself and be content. I don’t have to love my life everyday or work like a dog to feel accomplished. I just need to do enough activities that keep me engaged, relax enough to enjoy my days off and be a good employee and take a few days off here and there to remember that life does not revolve around work.
So true! Life does involve work (obviously), but it doesn’t have to be the center of everything!
Great post! Success for me doesn’t have to do with money, it has to do with how much progress I make and how I feel about myself. I think it’s so important to not compare our successes with someone else.
Thanks, Lyss! How you feel about yourself is so important – and comparing yourself to anyone else is pretty pointless. We’re all unique.
Defining success is HUGELY important to me. And my definition of success has definitely changed over the years (and probably will continue to change). I’m honestly such a big believer in sleep and health over everything, because once I’m strong and healthy (and rested) I’m able to do everything better.
Mine has changed, too! And I completely agree about prioritizing health and sleep. Everything works out better when you’re feeling good.
I have to say that I think that this mentality changes quite a bit after school. Or at least it did for me. Maybe I am just a slacker… lol
I imagine you’re right, since I certainly wouldn’t call you a slacker!
I think we’re all going to feel like we can “do more”, but we just need to find that place where we can be okay with what we do at THIS moment!
Abso-freaking-lutely. You have to find a place where you maybe aren’t doing it ALL, but you’re doing enough for you.
One of my biggest pet peeves is the competition colleges kids feel the need to play in terms of the quantity and quality of their sleep. Whoever slept the least amount is the winner? Eh, I don’t think so. It’s a huge irritant of mine, and I’m so glad I’m not alone in this! It’s not healthy to cram and stay up all night, yet that tends to be the societal norm here at universities across the U.S.
Success for me here at college looks like this: eating mindfully, getting in burst of exercise, reading, taking time to be quiet and at peace, and some social interaction for my sanity.
LOVE THIS so much!!! <3
You’re right; it’s not healthy at all. Your success sounds so nicely balanced. It’s a refreshingly far cry from the extremes so many people tend to seek.
Great post. Like what good is “success” if you’re not healthy or happy enough to enjoy it? It can get so easy to get sucked into a vision of success that’s not your own, so it’s super important to just take care of yourself and let everything else fall into place.
So well said, Kathleen. What’s the point of being successful if you can’t enjoy your own success? Taking care of yourself is so important!
Love this post, Ellen! It’s true and kind of crazy that some conversations at school do turn into almost competitions of who lives the most insane lifestyle of the least sleep, living on pizza, drinking 6 cups of coffee per day, etc. especially during finals week. You have a great perspective on this!
Thanks, Liv! “Who lives the most stressed-out life” is such a silly thing to compete over… who wants to win that competition?
YESSSSSSS! It drives me nuts when people measure success/ability/hard work based on what they DON’T have.
There’s nothing healthy about not sleeping or not eating properly and, to be honest, I don’t really think you’re all that successful if you’re stressed out of your brain and not actually living! Success is all about balance – just like life in general!
I’d never thought of it as measuring success on what you don’t have, but that’s a really good point, Kristy. And I’m SO with you on the balance thing. It’s not easy to find or maintain balance by any stretch of the imagination, but it is so important and absolutely something to work toward!
I love this so much, because I think I’m often tempted to base ‘success’ on what other people’s success looks like, but success doesn’t mean ‘killing yourself’ in order to be ‘successful.’ I think that’s when success becomes my ‘god’ and it just isn’t enjoyable or invigorating to work anymore. It’s more like a HUGE drag. Success looks so different for everybody. I’m so grateful that you re-defined it in a really balanced way.
Thanks, Emily! I like that you phrased it as turning success into a god… I think what happens when you make someone else’s success into your “ideal” success is that you make it completely unattainable. After all, you’ll never be that other person and you’ll never know exactly what they endured that earned them that success. You’ll never know how it makes them feel or how it would make you feel. You just know that it looks pretty on the outside and that you think it would feel great. Basically, you’ll be seeking a perfection that you can’t achieve.
It’s like you read my mind. Seriously it’s quite scary. I hear people say stuff like that all the time and it always makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. And I always feel guilty about doing anything other than studying like working on my blog. Yeah I could probably do much better…but life is all about balance as you said! <3
I often feel guilty when I’m not studying, too, Megan. I have to remind myself to “balance” daily. It’s hard. If you ever need some encouragement or someone to relate to, always feel free to reach out! 🙂
Great post, E!
I think success can also be interchanging and evolving- I reckon my notion of success has changed consistently every few years or so or when life throws a new challenge 🙂
Thanks, Arman!
I think that’s a great attitude to have toward life in general. If you can adapt to whatever comes your way, I’d say you’re pretty set 😀